By Jim Koury
eyeswideopentothesoul@gmail.com
(C) 2015 Eyes Wide Open. All Rights Reserved
Jim Koury is a seeker of inspirational forces. His spiritual journey of self-discovery has revealed many secrets hidden within him related to the very essence of who he is. He has unleashed the power of divine energy that is within us all and shares this through his column entitled, “Eyes Wide Open.” He embraces opportunities that enable him to learn about his higher self and the inspirational forces that prod him forward to new plateaus of enlightenment and self-revelation.
Lately I have often found myself in a reflective mental state where I seem to just wander to places long forgotten and that have been tucked away in the recesses of my mind -- hidden from sight and memory. I have no explanation really for these reflective periods, as they come out of nowhere and sometimes very quickly. I will be in a very outgoing, gregarious and fun mood only to be quickly focused inward. During these moment of inward focus, I am seemingly quite content on the outside but there is such trial and tribulation within myself and sometimes such inner unrest that it scares me sometimes.
I can internalize these reflective periods quite well now and not really change my outward demeanor at all. Sometimes life and all its nuances and the people in it just get so arduous and tiresome that I just want to scream and tell the world to shut the fuck up and go away and then curl up in a desolate, solitary place. Then I ground myself, put that happy face on and forge ahead despite all that swirls about inside and around me. It's just what needs to be done. I carry on with life.
Most times I am much stronger and more resilient when I emerge from these reflective moments in which I grapple with the internal firestorm of my thoughts and memories. I seem to be able to fondly remember things from my past and overcome my longing to return to those more secure and comfortable days with relative ease. I realize the past is the past. While we can return and reflect upon the memories that bubble to the top of our consciousness we cannot remain there indefinitely. Life is to be lived and we need to forge new paths and experience new things that complement the lessons learned from our past experiences.
I have seen many people entrapped within their memories of the past struggling with regret and shame. They incessantly wish they had not done something or did something they wanted to do but did not. These folks do not have a sense of their future. They lack the vision to realize that the power to change the course of their destiny lies within themselves. It actually saddens me to watch them wallow in their self doubt and their fear in trusting their instincts and intuition to forge a path yet untrodden.
Reflecting on the past is a good thing in that it allows us to regroup. We can strategize on what worked and what didn’t and if necessary create a new paradigm in which to function. However, we must be aware of the danger in remaining in the past and denying the existence of the present. We must live in the NOW and do what we must do in order to achieve our personal greatness. Happiness and contentment lies in our passions and doing whatever it is that makes us happy and fosters internal peace aligned with our higher selves.
